Monday, May 23, 2011

Pictures

I thought since I don't have a lot on my mind today to get off, I would post some pictures of my family.  We spent the weekend riding around with my husband for his job so he could get in some overtime but not sacrifice hours of family time.  He put in over 20 hours this weekend, we were with him for about 11 of it.  So I guess that's why I don't have too much on my mind.  I did see first hand what all my husband does and am so proud of him.  We never would've imagined last summer that when we moved here, we'd still be here and he'd still be working in the gas field.  When he graduated with his Masters of Divinity, we just knew churches would be flocking to him wanting him as their pastor.  Met a lady yesterday at church whose husband has been waiting 3 years for a pastorate.  Man on man...I just pray that God would put these truly God-fearing men in positions to truly lead and encourage his people with God's truth and remove the jokes from the pulpit that are high and lofty and merely lift their name on high, rather than the ONE who is deserving.  Okay..enough of that...PICTURES!:)
Zebbers posing not so willingly in a field of beautiful flowers.

These diaper boxes come in handy for playtime~

Little Zeb ALWAYS helps mow the lawn, he follows the path Daddy has made:) Adorable!

Sy tends to crawl right out of his pants:)

Zeb all ready to help daddy work this weekend!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Testimony

Today doing my Bible study, I found the Lord leading me to share my testimony here.  I hope that it encourages and gives hope! 
I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church. I was involved in everything, Christmas plays, GA's, vacation bible school, etc.  When I was about 7, I went forward with several other kids at VBS and declared I wanted to be saved.  Looking back, I believe I just wanted heaven and didn't understand my depravity, my sin, nor what salvation meant.  I was a pretty good kid. I liked to please my parents and stayed pretty active in 4H, summer ball, plays, etc.  We continued to go to church regularly until I was about 12.  The church we were at kind of died down after our pastor left and we went to another local SBC church.  A deacon came to our house and spoke with my parents and I remember overhearing him say something about "not needing our problems in their church."  So my attitude towards that church was not great to start with. My Mom was diligent and took us there anyway.  My Dad didn't go as much, he was busy with work and burned by the church himself.
My teenage years were a struggle. I fought a lot with my Mom and she would drag us to church when we could be persuaded. I hated youth group, I thought it was a bunch of dorky goody-two-shoes kids.  I became a part of the "popular" crowd at school. I was on the cheersquad, played all the sports, was in FFA, Student Council, etc.  I made great grades and continued to tried to impress my parents through my academics and extracurricular involvements. They were extremely supportive, my parents never missed an event.  I felt very blessed in that seeing most parents rarely show up.  Church became less and less important to me, especially since we often had late night games on Saturdays.  We were a very rural school, so we had to travel up to 4 hours to away games.  I began to discover a great interest in boys.  I found one that I thought would be a great catch. He was a year younger than me and new to the high school.  We "dated" for about a year and became involved in inappropriate relations.  I never wanted to be one of those girls. Even though I wasn't in church much or saved even, I did want to save myself for marriage and be a "good girl".  I knew it would disappoint my parents and it was never in my hear to do that.  When my parents realized the extent of our relationship, they forbid me to see him.  My rebellious spirit grew into a rampage. We snuck around and I became involved in other immoral activites; parties, drinking, etc.  The relationship didn't last, though my heart longed for it to. I just knew I was "in love." Admist all of this, my relationship with my Mom, Dad and brother became very rocky.  We put on our masks in public and were a great family. But I had broken their hearts and there was a lot of disappointment.  My brother went off to college my senior year and something about him not being home anymore, seemed to bind my family closer again. It helped that I wasn't in a relationship any longer too!  The summer before I left for college, I began to feel a great love and repentance towards my parents.  I knew at that point I was on my own and didn't have anyone to "save" me should I make big mistakes 4 hours away from home. 
My first year of college, I hung out with some great gals that were sold out to Christ.  I had never seen anything like it.  I went to some bible studies with them, but just kind of stayed on the outskirts.  The following year a few of my high school friends moved up to my school and shared an apartment with me.  I was very wishy-washy in my behaviors. One day I'd go to the Baptist Student Ministries with one friend and party the next night with the other friend.  I was on a roller coaster ride trying to discover who I was and who I wanted to be.  We all kind of had some changes of heart and went our seperate ways.  I spent that summer with a lady who worked at the BSM. She spent a lot of time investing in me, just being a friend.  As I became closer to her, I wanted to do more with the girls at the BSM. I became involved in bible studies, went on mission trips, basically spent all my free time there.  I went on a statewide BSM retreat one April and felt complete conviction of all my sin.  I called this my "rededication".  I continued to be very involved with this ministry my entire college stay and found a local church to attend.  Though I don't believe, in my heart I ever really made a change. My outward actions changed dramatically, but my heart was always the same. 
I moved to Arkansas my senior year of college to do my student teaching, I needed a place to live for free so I moved in with my parents.  I looked for churches all that semester, to find much of nothing.  The next fall, I moved to another town for my first teaching job. I was all on my own. It was a very taxing school and broke my heart. By Thanksgiving of that year, I was ready to quit.  But I found a great church and plugged in with their singles group and made great friends who encouraged me the whole year through. At the end of that year, I had resigned and moved back near my parents and went to work at the school I student taught at.  I loved teaching at that school.  I made some great friends and my brother and his wife had moved to the same town, so I had a lot of companionship.  My Mom told me they had a new youth pastor at her church she wanted me to meet. So I went and saw him, I thought he was a bit too "military" looking for me.  The summer of 2003 though I began attending my parents church.  A few kids from the youth group wanted me to help out, so I did.  I ended up falling for the youth guy...my husband now...he had amazing passion and taught with such conviction. I was under his spell:)  By the next summer we were courting, within a month we were dating and within another month we were engaged. We were married 3 months later, December 18, 2004.  He finished his undergraduate degree in Biblcial Studies and by June he had his first full time youth pastor job in Oklahoma. We packed up and moved there.  It was a very tough ministry. We had rough kids and a lot of purging to do there.  Satan really held a tight grip over the town and the young people.  Satan even began to interfere with Dustin and my relationship.  We had a lot of "intense fellowships".  November 8, 2006 Brother Travis Plumlee was leading a revival at our church.  It was then I knew, with my heart pounding violently, I wasn't saved at all.  I had realized that I wanted the benefits of salvation, without the transformation and works.  I was so embarrased, I was the youth pastor's wife and I wasn't saved!  But...God did a great thing, he convicted the pastor's wife as well and some deacons wives!  I wasn't alone.  I nailed down that day my salvation. I asked God to be my Lord and Savior and totally consume and transform my life.  Now life has not always been "hunky-dory" since but each step has been a step of faith and sanctification. I'm growing each day.  Within the first year of being saved, I told my husband I wanted a divorce.  Things had been rocky and Satan was medling.  He wasn't about to give me that...he asked me a simple question that I couldn't answer. He said "do you really love me?" My silence was the answer.  I spent the next few weeks studying 1 Corinthians 13 to find out what love meant.  And God gave me His love and my husband waited patiently for me to truly love him.  I think since then, we have grown together in so many ways, but that was a turning point for me.  We've learned how to fight in Godly manner, how to resolve conflict and cling to each other instead of pushing away. 
I love the Lord, I love how He is patiently waiting for us to receive Him.  He loves with a crazy, unfathomable love and gives us that to share with others. I love that He saved me, that He didn't leave me to think I was saved because I said some repeated prayer at 7 not knowing what I was doing.  I'm thankful that He is my husband's all in all and that He is so evident in His character and actions. 
My testimony isn't something I'm proud of, in fact most is embarrassing. But I am proud of where God has brought me. That this sinful, depraved, rebellious teenage, was saved by His grace, is a pastor's wife, is a stay at home Mom with a passion for seeing her kids raised and nutured in the admonition of the Lord.  He is able to change us, He is able to refine us from soot to gold!  Praise the ONE!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

What a week!

It has been some week.  Sy went from having a double ear infection to the croup last week.  We got him a steroid and he improved some on our trip to Oklahoma to visit Dustin's family.  While we were there, he took a turn for the worse. He struggled to breath and was extremely congested.  He had fever and it was obvious the poor baby was miserable! He is my home body kid anyway, but you could tell he longed to be in the comfort of his own home. While we were there, Zeb and his cousin were playing baseball inside the living room and collided "running the bases" so Zeb has a big black eye!
We had some shining moments though. It was great to visit with all of Dustin's family and we had some wonderful friends come over for an evening of pizza and cards.  We caught up on old times and new times!  There is just something so comforting and warm about lifetime friends, those friends you can be away from and maybe not even hear from for sometime, yet when you get together its as if you've never been apart. 
The Lord has provided this week for us in a special way.  He gave me the opportunity to babysit a little 3 year old boy who plays very well with Zeb.  It has not only been good for Zeb but has provided a little extra income.  Dustin was also able to sell some tools last week!  So with all that we about have our tires paid for from last week...woohoo...Thank you Jesus!!
Speaking of babysitting...I'm extremely "out of shape" when it comes to getting up early, getting ready and be ready to "work" for the day.  This has been a week where I have "needed" coffee...though I haven't given into it just yet.  My sister-in-law did bring me some creamer though in case I am desperate!  I can't drink coffee without some creamy goodness!  I'm really trying to not have it, because I was so addicted to it before I got pregnant and I've been very faithful to not drinking it since we found out.  I'm not sure what's so different about this week as to compared to days when I just have my kids.  I'm basically getting up at the same time as normal, but I guess I feel like I've got to be ready and get my game face on.  The kid is great, he's no extra "work", but I guess since he's not mine, I'm extra dilligent to make sure everything is safe, he is having a good time, etc. 
Well since arriving back home, Sy has made a turn for the good. I'm telling you, he just likes to be at home.  He is back to being my sweet boy and is sleeping wonderfully.  He is still congested some and the sweet thing is just now regaining his voice, it sounds so cute, it being all raspy.  Zeb's eye is healing, but looks pretty nasty.  And we're having a good week.  Some doors are being opened, we are prayerful to discover if God is opening them and what He would have us to do.  Please join us in praying. We desire to be in His perfect will and to submit and obey immediately. 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Couponing

So, I'm watching extreme couponing for the first time and I'm flabbergasted. One woman spends 70 hours a week clipping coupons and researching deals. Then she does a three hour pre shopping trip to scavenge deals. The shopping day requires about 4 hours of shopping and 3 hours at the checkout! Now as bad as I want to save money, I don't have that kind of time or desire to spend in that. My kids and husband mean a lot more to me as does spending time with them. Just a quick thought:)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tempted to Doubt...yet He's never failed me!

As I drove the kids to my parents on Sunday for lunch, in the pouring rain, I gripped the wheel and went all of 45 miles an hour, as passerbys gave me dirty looks. Its not that I'm scared of driving in the rain so much, though growing up in Arizona, rain was a very scarce occurence so I am not used to it:)  The problem is, I was scared of our tires. They keep losing air and do not have good traction at all.  When it snowed a few months ago, we skidded and slid just trying to make a 3 mile an hour turn into our road!  Nonetheless, at my slow speed on Sunday I managed to hydroplane some. It wasn't too scary, we just kind of got caught up in the flowing across the road water and then it spewed me out.  My son Zeb asked if we had been in an accident, I guess because he find the big jolt as it threw us out of the water.  This got Dustin concerned. My Dad took the car to the tire shop for me this morning and called with the report.  A little over $400 and we can feel safe and secure once again, especially before we make the trip to Oklahoma this weekend for Dustin's grandfather's 95th birthday and Mother's Day!  So, yes I am extremely tempted to doubt.  As I survey our in the red checkbook and bills keep coming in the mail and a baby on the way, requiring payments of $150/month until the child arrives just to pay my Dr. I'm more than tempted just to be real honest.  In fact as I write this I tear up.  But why should I doubt now?? When has my God ever failed me??? HE HASN'T!!!  So, I lay my financial burdens at His feet right now and proclaim His goodness and His grace. He knew we would need tires this month!  He knew we would be pregnant with our next child and that the Dr. isn't free nor cheap!  He knew that our bills would be more than the paycheck.  And you know what, I am not afraid.  What can man do to me??  They can take everything I have but as long as I have Jesus, I have enough!  Riches may fail, but never my Redeemer!  I'm nailing it down right now...He will provide what I need because He promised He would.  I may not see it at the moment, but I will recognize God's hand. 

Monday, May 2, 2011

2nd post

Well this post is not as timely as I would've hoped. Between my little guy having a double ear infection and me staying nauseated daily...I've not done much of anything.  Which is why I decided to post today.  So Friday night, I could not go to sleep, which is unfathomable at this point in my pregnancy, I pretty well can sleep all day and night if I were allowed to.  Anyway, I had such an anxious spirit.  The reason for this anxiousness I guess is that we paid our bills that night because it was my husband's payday.  We had $40 bucks left which would have to cover another bill coming out yesterday I guess.  It is so hard to watch your money dwindle away and not have a whole lot to show for it.  It is hard to trust God in those times.  But crazyily enough, I do!  He has never failed to provide for us.  And get this...Saturday the whole family got to go with my husband to work so he could get some overtime.  This is the first time we've ever been on the job with him.  But it was pretty simple work, just hooking up to trailers and moving them to different jobsites. And then about 9pm Saturday night, a man called Dustin and said a preacher had gotten the stomach flu and wanted him to preach for him Sunday morning. Its a good thing my husband believes in the verse about being ready in season and out of season.  It was raining like crazy Sunday morning and the "normal" way to go was blocked by destruction from a massive tornado last week.  So the Garmin took him another way, which led to a flooded area he could not drive through, which led to another flooded way...but finally just in time to preach he made it there!  He was determined that God wanted him there and wasn't going to give up.  What's even more awesome is that this little church that had about 25 in attendence handed him a $100 check for preaching one service!  Now tell me my God does not provide! 
So back to Friday night, amongst my anxiety I felt God wanting me to make a list. And on this list I wrote down some things that my soul needs and our family needs.  This is where any followers come in...I am just learning about couponing.  Now I go to a couple of websites, but I'm a mom who has to take the kids to the store with her, so going to 15 different stores just to get the best sales is not an option for me.  So...please inform me of any couponing sites, or any quick and simple ways to check out with screaming kids:)  Another thing on my list of to-dos is to research how to consolidate student loans. My husband has two that we need to consolidate, but the places he has them with do not do that. Any suggestions??  I also would love to find fun, FREE things to do as a family.  While working with my husband this weekend, we found a beautiful spot to picnic right on the river.  It was a ton of fun and the boys loved being outside and able to roam, even little crawling Sy. 
My heart is no longer anxious, my God proved once again, He is able and willing to provide!  Now, I just have to be faithful to do my part to research and figure out how we can save more money, especially since we'll have child number 3 in November which will require a new vehicle. There is no way another carseat will fit in my little Corrolla:)